SFX
(storm sounds)
NICK
When I hit the streets the rain had already turned L.A. into a mud river. It was a short swim down Alvarado to my convertible, (car sounds) I had to get to Santa Barbara in a big hurry.
As I whipped on to Mulholland Drive, the lights were just twinkling on across the San Fernandino Valley. I could barely make them out through the driving rain, then a hard right down Big Tujunga Canyon. My tires squealed as I hit Sepulveda. A right. A left. A left. Another right, a left to the body, a right and into a gas station. (brakes) Hey, Pop!
POP
All right. All right. Hold your horses. I’m comin’. Uh, yeah?
NICK
Where am I?
POP
You can’t get there from here.
NICK
But I’m looking for the same old place.
POP
Oh, you must mean the old Same Place, Sonny. It’s right out back. Here’s the key. (key drop)
NICK
Four hours later I parked my car in the carriage house and (cornstarch footsteps) walked up a grey gravel driveway between a line of dwarf maples towards the pillared entrance of the Same Mansion. It had been snowing in Santa Barbara ever since the top of the page and I had to shake the cornstarch off my mukluks as I lifted the heavy obsidian doorknocker. Hey in there… open up. Your doorknocker fell off.
CATHERWOOD
(door open) What’s all this brouhaha?
NICK
Brouhaha? Ha ha ha…
CATHERWOOD
Ha ha ha ha ha…(door close)
From “The Further Adventures of Nick Danger” by The Firesign Theater